Kecewa

Kecewa mai ku malam tok.. Tnyata ea enda pcaya k jako ku agi.. Bkeni ku ka madah k nuan nti ku amai sakit?ku pedis perut laban pagi tadi ku bendar mai makai pulut sambal..pedassss amai2 sampai ku enda tat. Dahny nuan madah ku sengaja ngai btemu ngau nuan. Ku madah cgk da alasan ku ka ngambi kakak ke airport cg amai..tapi meda apak ka ngambi ea ku enda nyadi ngambi lah.. Nuan madah ku sengaja ngai dinner ngau family nuan. Sayang ku bc sebab ngagak tok semua. Tua cg nemu tua enda ulih begulai dudi ari ila sayang. Nuan enda ulih nguai aku pan sama. Cg ari suba ku ka nyauh kdiri ari nuan tapi ku enda sanggup serta bedau sedia laban ku ckp sayau k nuan. U know my everything. Sayang :') ku bc meli jam k nuan ah.. Harap nuan happy nerima ny ila tajapn ukai mar tp ny ku beri ngau ati t ikhlas sayang. Sory aok t ku medis ati nuan belama laban ku cg nemu dudi ari ila tua cg enda ulh begulai pan.. Ku sayau k nuan..

Sunyi

Malam tok sunyi mai asai ati ku :') belaya jeja meh kmi duai ea. Mya manah mood bka nama muji aku tok nyak la. Tapi maya belaya alu aky padah ea nyelaie, jampat ringat. Sabar ajak la ku laban ku sayau ke ea :')

My Life Just Began

As we know, each of us someday will find someone who trully can accept us for who we are. No matter how hard your situation someone is willing to give their hands to pick you up. They will lend us their shoulder to cry, time to spend with, and laugh to cheer us up ;) Some people might not understand why they meet some people in their life. Well, life is like a circle on how we treat them we get it back in the same way though!

     So, here is my story. I met so many people in my life. Whether they are my real friends or just came to make a mess like a bitch. My friends likely come and go every time they want and some of them just took me for granted. I might not rich with gold and money but I can help people in my own way to solve their problem. I will give them my own opinion on how we should solve the problem in a better way. I love being nice to everyone but why everyone likes to make me feel low and down? I just don't understand that.

We Meet Again

Only God knows how's I feel :D Actually I quit my job as gym operator in the end of January 2013. As a gym operator I met so many people with different body shape and look.. So, here is the thing. I met this guy who claimed himself as Elvira Chua. Every time I asked him to write down his name, he will use Elvira Chua *it's a girl name*  That guy is kinda cute, baby face and seriously handsome. So I put him on my crush list :)
    On 11th May 2013, I decided to continue my part time job as waitress at ParkCity Everly Hotel Miri and what surprising me most is I met my crush. Damn! HAHAHA! He keep staring at me. I was busy with clearing the plate on the tables suddenly he came to me talk to me.. In my heart I was like *I don't know how to explain* damn he's so cute >_<' but something ain't right when Boboy tell him that I admired him. I just can't say a thing and feel ashamed with myself!
     So the next day I thought he's not coming but I saw him standing in front of the front office and he keep staring at me with his most cute smile! I'm melting~ His eyes following my movement.. Audrey told me that his eyes keep starring at me!!! :3 Damn! FYI dear crush, I still kept your towel.

p/s Just my crush..hahaha

My Shape

I hope this is me :O this is awesome and cool!! Well, I just started my diet few days ago. Some say I can be more beautiful if I had this kind of body. Perhaps I could do it well and show to the world nothing is impossible :D HAHAHA I still remember what my ex told me about my shape and that awkward moment was taught me to be more sensitive about my shape and diet.. Just discipline they said. Just wish me luck yahh!! Hehehe

#and also I want my boobs shaping well afterward. Just have some more patience in me and be more confident though..

New Looks

At last! I can design this blog into her new looks :D well, I had nothing much to say actually but today on 1st May 2013 my blog officially was updated by me.. Fuuhhhh, I thought I wouldn't had any idea to make it more beautiful.. HAHAHAHA..
p/s to be continued and more post to come :) just wait!
 #goodnightfellas

I'm Back

I'm goneeeeee for a very long time but now I'm back. I have so many things to share with you in this blog but I don't know how to begin and where to start. Let's start with my personal 'love story'

Well, since I've turned to single without having any relationship with other guys out there, most of guys out there could be bothersome to me. Hmmm~ Still my ex Mr.Dexter asking for my returns, what should I do then? He's just my past that sometimes annoyed me and makes me angry with people around me without any reason -___- but thanks to my friend Carolyne who always be next to me when she is needed coz she is the only person who understand me enough.

Next is I met this guy during JPJ Test on 6th March 2013. He has a good looking that probably makes we(girl) fall in love/flirt with him. I keep thinking about him, before gone to bed yet woke up in the morning his name still the first thing that popped-up in my head. He always calling me whenever he got his free time after work. Listening to his voice was my favorite part. We met during our free time and chat like we already being a couple but we're not. He's so attractive and adorable, he know how to make other people laugh and I was enamored by his beauty! *melting*

Other than that, I started to believe the existence of love through my sister's friends. He's a kind person who always care for me. Yes we became a couple but it's already over. I choose to leave whereas he's still waiting for me to come back. I told him that I wasn't that good person and try to get rid of him. He is too good to me so I'm barely to make a move :'( He is that Mr. Right that I was waiting for so long but he came at the wrong time.

Recently, I go out for a date with someone who only take someone for granted. FYI he is my friend's(Jane) scandal. They both just dating for fun and always fight for nothing. Well, Mel already knew that Jane had a boyfriend but still he wanted to be one of her part. One day I got a call from unknown number, at first I wasn't pick up the phone because my phone is still inside my bag. He keep on trying to reach out for me and at last we had a few talks before he confess something that was totally stupid. He likes me! -__- now he want to find a way to tackle me and throw the other girl to the other side. HAHAHA! He is a stupid guy I ever met in my life. Ready to take a risk though it might hurt himself!

Hmmm. Everything happened for a reason, we only need to find a way to know why it is happened. *yawn*
Goodnight blogie!
#kumakumakuma!

Morning

Sigh~ I dreamt of you last night Dexter :') Lately I've been thinking of you but seems like all of it useless. I don't know why I still wasting my time to think about you, to have you back. But last night really surprised me when I think back.. You asked to to come back, you tell me everything about what and why you want to come back to me :') You said that you really regret on what was happened and want me back, you told me everything about what you feel and you desperately needs me.
      Wish it come true dear. I do love you so much more even you're so far away. Even you're bring this relationship down but seriously I'm still loving you. Perhaps someday I can show you how much I love you all this time. I had tried to live this life without you and sometimes I can cry because of you. I love you dear one :')

Annyeong :(

Aigooo :'( so suddenly the thing that I hate pretty much disturbing n messing my mind. I seriously can't give you any chance to love me like all of my ex's did before. Think twice before you totally regret it. Sooner or later you might get hurt. It's not because I can't love anybody else but I'm not ready to give any serious commitment in any relationship. I hope you understand. Before you get hurt its better for you to step backward and stop on hoping.
     I thought everything will be fine but seems like I can't help it huh~ perhaps someday you guys out there dont give to much hope on someone who really refuse to take you as their partner ;)

Suddenly I felt something ain't right here. I don't know what but it's totally freak me out and I can't believe that my tears already falling. NOW. Ohh,,can I just cry without any reason?come on la I'm not strong enough to face any dissapointment just now. CRY CRY CRY :'( CRY CRY CRY CRY!!!!!!!!!!

New Year New Journey

Happy New Year 2013 blogie :D hmmm.. Perhaps I can begin new life and forget the past.. Dear God please hear my prayer. Amen. Ohhh!! Nothing much to say la.. -_____-' hahaha..
#to be continued

Sigh~

Again... Few drop of my tears. What can I say if I trully love him and cannot get over him. God please show me Your mercy! All I want is to forget everything about us. I just want to rip away all those pain that still bothering me for a very long time. It's been a month that I show my pain with all those fake smile. WHY??? I almost 'kill' myself with those perfect fake smile. No one knows hows it's going. Some says that I'm just a perfect liar with sweet talks. Now I wonder some of the guys out there still hoping to be the best for me and I'm so sorry, my pain taught me to be more careful and do not give them your heart as easy as you did before. I might break your heart but for sure I never meant to, it's for good so you don't get hurt by me in the future. I wrote this because I suddenly saw my crystal clear when I saw old pictures of Dexter and me.

Last Day of Examination

I don't know what to say :) yesterday was our last examination day and on that day I went talked to my friends.. I mean my classmates. Ohhh how I missed them all these times. And sure I would like to thank God cause He hear my prayers to be with them again, gather and laughing in any way especially with my bestie Serpientie. I missed her so damn much! I carry myself out from school with little happiness tears *I wonder how could it be maybe with too much excited feelings*
     On 11 am suddenly I got message from Serpientie. She asked me to join them window shopping and movie'ing watching twilight. But I sat next to Fennylia while we go for movie ^_^ after we finished our movie we go to kbox *karaoke'ing* hahaha.. Well, Serp still holding me like the last time she holds me a month ago.. She still give me her most beautiful smile when I first met her in the car yesterday. She talks to me like nothing goes wrong between us. And most important thing is I really wanna say Thank You God because You heard my prayers! Here is some picture of us yesterday.. I'm so excited and I don't know what to say/add in this box :) but may you enjoy the pictures..

#awhhh forgot! picture maybe added on tis evening! wait for it

Lots Of Love ~Ana~

The Thing

Hey blogie ^_^ I just want to show you our conversation on facebook and skype. I put it here so it'll remains as memories..
Huh.. I just back from school.. Today is our big day. STPM yo! See you in next post..hehe.. Nothing much to say about STPM..

Hmm

Still I can't go to bed early! HUH!!! Too many things spinning inside my head and the thing is I DON'T KNOW WHAT -_- God.. Tomorrow we'll sit for our final exam. First paper supposed to be Pengajian Am paper 2 also known as General Knowledge paper 2 *am I right?* :D haha.
p/s wish I could go to sleep afterward. I need enough energy for tomorrow *last preparation* hoho~ Goodnight Blogie ^_^

to be continued

Tears run down my face when I'm watching this video :') huh! I keep wondering what will happen next. I'll catch up! :D

Hmm

I had nothing much to say, skies always crying like my heart that always cried for someone that I loved. Sigh. As I woke up this morning, I go checking on my phone whether there are any messages from Jourdan. Recently, I think too much about him and can't even focus on my study (my final exam falls on 19th Nov) but still I can't get over him. God have mercy on this! I misses that someone who used to call me Pig or Piggy so damn much :'( Yesterday I'd tried to create some conversation with him but seems like it's not working at all. It's totally ruined and I don't know who should be blame on this. Maybe this what we call DESTINY.. We can't always be with someone we love but maybe on our next life you'll be with him *perhaps* .

Lucky Day Or What?

Hmmm... I don't really know what to say actually. Today I got a big surprised. First was happened in the midnight (00.00) Jourdan Ghee sent me message which he said: Do you realize that we didn't really got together? Do you know why are we separated? Do you realize it was just because of a question 'IF'? And you put yourself in such unnecessary pain.~ Jourdan, I wish you still here for me. I keep thinking of you! Why don't you reply my message? I hope to see you soon (I mean on skype) I really need you.. DESPRATELY NEED YOU! Please don't be too cold with me.

Next! I got a missed call from my ex Dexter (14.42)! I don't know why he leave me a missed call but maybe he suddenly call to the wrong number. My heart skipped a beat! I can feel there still a pain. I sent him message but til now he did not reply *well I guess he's really get into a wrong number* I talked to myself ~what a stupid guy that still disturbing my life, is he try to begging me? HAHA what a stupid me when I fall for him for a second time to be hurted~

Then! Jackson the guy who fall in love with me was annoyed me too much! He's kinda jerk sometimes! He's forcing me to be his girlfriend HEY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ENOUGH THAT I CAN'T BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND?? Go find other girl la. Why you guys must choose me as your girlfriend???? Is thiis because you guys so easily to get me then left me like my ex did to me before? WHAT THE FUCK! It's totally pissed me off.. Hmmm, Jack I'm so sorry, I can't be with you as you wished SORRY~

p/s Life getting harder than I thought!

Dream

Sigh~ I don't know what exactly I dreamt of last night. But I can remember, I saw you there. How I miss you Jourdan :'( I'm so easily to fall in love with stranger that I just met through facebook, meet me and skype.   This life isn't unfair, why cant I have you? God, seriously I'm in love with that guy. Guy who made my smile looks beautiful. He gave me no tears but only laugh and smile. He once told me forget how to cry I did. But now I forgot and totally forgot how to smile since you're gone..

p/s I just want you to know, I miss you every single day since the first time you ask me ~not to steal people heart~ :')
LOVE,
Mariana

Hmm~

Is it normal for me to fall in love again? I don't want people call it as *took someone for granted* because I'm not. Suddenly I cried, I removed him from my facebook account, I want to stay away from his life because I know someday it'll be hurt. This just the begining of love journey and I know complicated relationship and unmature relationship is waiting for me out there :( Jourdan, I do love you and I can't explain when was it come. Seriously I want you to be my man but it's totally rubbish! sigh. You are the first man that know how to make me smile, laugh again and believe there is love for me. You're an angel that God sent to this world to light up everybody's life. You're so special in your own way Jourdan.

I'd lied to you :( actually I don't have any child in my life. That Griffin I had told you is my favourite nephew (Son of my brother) I lied because I don't want you to have any feelings towards me. I lied because I care for your heart. I lied because I believe someday you'll find other beautiful girl who can love you for who you are. I do love you but I can't have you in my life. (I don't know why I'm saying this) Sorry If I make you angry, dissapointed and what ever feelings you had on that day.

I never try to get over you, I cried myself to sleep everyday, I won't take you as my rebound of the past relationship. I've told you from the start, I just want to give my heart a break but why you forced yourself to get me? :( Now you did, you left a big scar in me without any cure.